


So drunk

by monasjb



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Death, Gay, Heavy Angst, Lim Changkyun - Freeform, M/M, POV First Person, Relationship Problems, Whop Whop, abusive household, kpop, lee minhyuk - Freeform, minkyun, monsta x - Freeform, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 19:27:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14858832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monasjb/pseuds/monasjb
Summary: Childhood friends Minhyuk and Changkyun lost their love for each other, realizing it too late.





	So drunk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Laraib](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Laraib).



> It's for my girl laraib!! I hope yall will like it enjoy!

We were so drunk. Drunk with the idea, our love could heal us.

 

How dumb we were, thinking living together could make everything better. It was harder since we thought it gets better, fighting almost every day, never knowing where the other one is at night. Every day I saw him, it felt like I forget more and more about us.

I'm Changkyuns boyfriend for so many years now, together we ended high school and left our family, hoping to start a new better life with each other.

I got a job to finance our dorm and everything else while he started to go to university, we had still time to see us. I don't know why, I never was really excited to see him in the coffee shop next to his university to eat something. However, he never missed it, he always came, not happy though. I really don't know why.  
At home, we rarely talked. He worked on his studies, I was in the internet wasting my time. We only talked to fight. I always got so mad at him, always thinking about to leave him. I hated him when we fought.

The weekends were the worst and also the best times. We went out, danced, drank, forgot our problems together. When we are drunk we can bear the other one better, we don't hate us anymore, we smile, laugh, and kiss. But it's all over when we wake up. Whenever I see Changkyun next to me in the bed, sleeping the hangover out, I feel like the last night was fake. The smiles he gave me, the kisses. All fake. Every morning it hurts seeing him then. 

I never was happy. Every day I thought about leaving him, that he doesn't love me anyways, that he never did. That I don't need him. I run away whenever I want to leave, go to friends, sleep by strangers. Everything, but being with him.  
Yet again, I came back to him, missing his appearance, his deep voice I hear too rarely. I don't understand me, I feel so empty with him but also without. I always hope he says he missed me and hugs me, but he only says:  
"I'm sorry, I hope you are better now."

 

I am never better with you, won't you understand.

 

We were friends for so long now. I know everything about him, and he knows everything about me. I know how his dad forced him to study every day, pressured him to be the best student in every subject, especially in biology and chemistry. His mom never cared, she looked away when he hit Changkyun, I also did. We were 10, I was scared to help.  
But he never was scared to help me. He knew about my brother and his alcohol problem, how he always stole moms money and beat me up when I catched him. Changkyun always took me and we hide together. I cried, he held me. I felt safe with him, I knew if I live with him, I would be happy.

I was naive. Since we are together and live under the same roof, we only fight, fight over everything that bothers us. As I said, we don't talk when we don't fight. It's not like it used to be. I don't feel safe anymore. The love which made us strong and stay alive isn't alive anymore. I am not the same Minhyuk who loved him so much, he isn't the same Changkyun who loved me so much. I don't remember our love.

 

Tomorrow it's our 12 years anniversary, since 2 years we stopped celebrating it. I'm in the car again, running away for a week. He's at home, waiting. It's 3am, I can't open my eyes anymore. I can't sleep at home, I can't sleep. It's so dark, I can't see anything.  
For the first time, Changkyun send me a message. I was surprised, I don't want to admit that but, I smiled, curious about what he send me.

 

"please drive safe. happy 12 years."

 

It was the last thing I saw before my car hit another one. I don't remember anything between that message and the last seconds I was breathing heavily. I thought about him, I am leaving Changkyun forever now, like I always wanted. But, I was naive, again. I don't want to leave him, he was everything I had.

"Chan... Changkyun.. Im sorry.."

 

We never realized it. We were so drunk. Drunk with the idea, our love could heal us. It never did.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading have a great day!


End file.
